I Have A Million Fears

This post was originally written for the Doodle heads blog.

When I came across the Sketchbook Project I thought that it was the coolest project ever. I spent two weeks agonizing over which theme I would pick.....Facing Forward was what I finally concluded. I have been meditating, doing yoga, self reflecting, and figuring shit out for the past number of months. I was pretty sure that it was time to Face Forward.

I received my sketchbook and was delighted, gleeful, I couldn't stop stroking the book and flipping it's lovely crisp untouched pages. I sniffed it, I hugged it, I was super stoked. Days went by and I would pick it up, hold it and put it down. I was frozen with fear.

I've got a couple of big fears that I am fully aware of - fear of commitment, and fear of Failure.......hmmmmm, turns out this sketchbook project is bathed with both of these big time. There is something about knowing that every pen mark I put into this sketchbook is permanent....and others will see it, there is no backing out (hello fear of commitment). And what if it sucks....I sketch jewelry designs and they don't all turn out lovely, some turn out okay, some turn out brilliant and some kind of suck (howdy fear of failure, oh you again).

What to do.......okay I thought I would ease into it. I took my theme and started sketching in one of my more familiar books, a tried and true one.....easy breezy, I designed some unique earrings based on my them Facing Forward and on Self Reflection.
Okay, I thought I was pretty much ready to start on the real deal.....design a necklace in the empty gray moleskin book taunting me from my coffee table......nope.... couldn't do it. Again I picked it up and put it down and went to the comfort of my old private sketchbook.

This Facing Forward idea is turning out to be challenging in ways I didn't see coming. And now I am here with all of you, absolutely delighted to be asked to participate in this doodleheads blog. So excited to connect with a new community of artists. So nervous....I'm a jewelry designer.....I draw jewelry......to be amongst all of these other talented artists who can draw amazing is pretty crazy intimidating. But I'm going to do it. It's all about the risk right? Being an artist, being an entrepreneur, it is all about risk. I will Face Forward and I will start filling that sketchbook with pure brilliance....and some not so brilliant and I will share it with all of you.

Looking forward to this journey with everyone.
Patsy Kay Kolesar
www.pkkdesign.com
www.pkkdesign.blogspot.com

Facing Forward and Self Relfection

I have been designing new jewelry pieces inspired by my theme for the sketchbook project, Facing Forward.

For the past while I have been designing jewelry inspired by love stories. I have been in a very self-reflective place. being uncertain. being doubtful. being hopeful. being in awe... of love. I have been meditating,practicing yoga, and figuring some shit out.

I started to wonder if it was possible to still be self reflective while facing forward? and what does self reflective look like? what does facing forward look like? I started sketching ideas for earrings that represented both of these themes........

My design for self reflection had to feel a little twisty, circular, curvy, deep, and beautiful. My design for facing forward had to remind me of birds. birds have made themselves very present in my life the last number of months. My beautiful Papaya art prints around my home have uplifted me every time i look at them. and I have seen eagles, cranes, humming birds and yellow finches all around me. The design had to be soaring, wing like, clean lines, beak like, bold, strong.


Lots of ideas. I spent a day playing in my studio and decided that these two designs are my favourite. I have been wearing them around proudly the last few days.

Facing Forward Earring

Self Reflection Earring

The Sketchbook Project

A couple of months ago I came across the Sketchbook Project. "It's like a concert tour but with sketchbooks", how cool is that? Anyone can be a part of it, you just pick your theme, order your sketchbook for $25, fill it and send it back to them by Jan 2011. They take the sketchbooks on a cross country art tour and afterwards all of sketchbooks become property of the Brooklyn Art Library. Pretty much the coolest project ever. It took me two weeks to pick my theme, I know that they say that the theme is "loose", but having a few rules in life has always helped me focus. I finally chose "Facing Forward" whooh, yup, facing forward.........My life has been in the digging deep, reflective, self-discovery stage now for a little while and I'm pretty sure that it's time to face forward.

My sketchbook is gray with lovely white pages.....I have a bit of a thing for sketchbooks, art supply stores, stationary stores.....something about the smell....is that really weird?

I thought I would show you some pics of my other sketchbooks, I rarely have only one on the go.....and when I fill one up I could never throw it away.

They have over 10,000 people who have signed up so far to be a part of the Sketchbook Project. I think that there is something amazing knowing that so many people around the world will be sketching away, filling these little books with a piece of themselves. All with a collective goal in mind. I would love for all of you to be a part of this project too and share your process with me a bit. I will be posting photos from my sketchbook once I start filling it......There is something about taking my pen to that very first page that is a little scary, exciting, bold. I will let you know when I get there!

The What We've Created Brooch

About a month ago my Dad asked me if I could make a piece of jewelry for him to give to my Mom for their 40th wedding anniversary. My Dad is usually the pots and pans type of gift giver so I was shocked, touched, and delighted to take on such an amazing project. I spent a lot of time thinking about what to make, what was special enough for this moment, what spending 40 years with someone meant........

This is what I ended up making,

"The What We've Created Brooch"

What we've created in 40 years is a home that echoes with laughter long after the Christmas decorations are packed away and the Bar-b-q's are done for the Summer.

What we've created is two strong, compassionate daughters who have never doubted for a moment that they have incredible love and strength to catch them when they stumble and push them gently when they need support.

What we've created is a house filled with love and new giggles of a very special grandchild and another on the way.

What we've created is a love that is true and committed and a friendship that has grown stronger and stronger throughout 40 years.

Their anniversary was yesterday, August 1st. My Mom was overjoyed with the gift, and in shock that it had been my Dad's idea. My Mom gave my Dad a card....My Dad is now gloating that he is "one up" on my Mom in the gift giving department, hehehe. I sure hope to be able to still be laughing with someone after sharing 40 years with them.

The brooch is made from sterling silver that I have hammered, twisted and blackened. It is, of course embellished with pearls and a bright red enameled disk. The wall piece is made from copper, which I have enameled and made a special little place for the brooch to clip in when it is not being worn.