I want my love to make me a better version of myself....

I've said many times that for me Jewelry is about love. It has a history, it has an intention, it has a story.

I try very hard to walk through this world keeping in mind what really matters and asking myself, What do I want my love to look like? How do I want to give love and to be loved in this world?

This year I want love to be honest, the type of honesty that takes away your fears. I want my love to have good intentions, I want to see past what's in front of me and see what's really there. I want my love to have no expectations - it's here in front of me, in front of you right now, right at this moment and that's all I know. I want my love to make me a better version of myself. I want my love to build something amazing. I want my love to be brave. I want my love to let go of all of the hurt from the past. I want my love to trust. I want my love to fly.

I've been collecting public declarations about love............If you find any in your world send them to me and I'll add them to my blog.

You can feel the past in precious metal......

Jewelry has a history. It has a past. It has experienced love and hope. It has experienced heartbreak and painful endings.

I often have people asking me if I can make something old into something new. I get it. We have jewelry that once was and now is not. We have jewelry that just sits somewhere dusty.

I appreciate the desire to turn it into something we actually want to wear. But I also appreciate the history of a piece of jewelry. You can feel the past in precious metal, it has an energy. Even the pieces that ended in heartbreak once experienced the energy of great love. And heartbreak also has a painful honest pure energy that is beautiful.

So, I'm mixed about turning our history in jewels into new pieces.......

Here are two pieces of my history in jewels. These are my two earliest memories of jewelry. They were both given to me by my Nana and Grandpa, who lived in Australia. The brooch was the first piece of jewelry I ever got. It is hand engraved. It is not perfect, which makes me love it that much more. The bird necklace is enameled, some of the blue enamel in the middle of the bird has chipped off, but I would never try to fix it because that chip is part of my history.

A Slice of Artistic Sanity

The Ring a Week project has turned into a little slice of artistic sanity for me. I have to make a ring a week regardless of how chaotic and busy my life gets. I have to sit down and stay still long enough to think of a new idea. I have to stay still long enough to connect with what I'm feeling, which isn't always easy. But my jewelry designs have always been inspired by a story - by lasting love, by painful heartache, by hopeful change.

So, what have I been feeling?...........Honestly my life has become a little chaotic. I have recently opened up a new store with two other artists. We have been thrown into a fire of change and we have to figure things out. It is craziness! For all of you who have opened retail stores on your own, my deepest respect for you! Our space is only 200 square feet and there is 3 of us to share the workload.....and it really has taken over our lives. Hopefully things will smooth out a little and become calmer for us once we get all of the start up tasks figured out.......I imagine those of you who own retail stores are chuckling right now as maybe things never get calmer once you have a store - and if this is true please lie to me, as I need to think that things will be tranquil in my life once again. ;)

My rings for the past few weeks have been twisty- like my mind, with glimmers of hopeful pink pearls - like my heart.

Week 8 Ring

Week 9 Ring

Week 10 Ring

The Love Story Necklace Gets Married

Last Spring I launched a little competition. I asked brides-to-be to tell me their love story. The winner would receive a custom made Love Story Necklace - inspired by their personal love story, made just for them to wear on their wedding day.

I ended up picking two winning love stories.

Gracie - who fell in love with Steve, two years after she experienced an incredible heartbreak when her fiance called off their wedding just 3 weeks before the day. How do you bounce back from that and risk your heart again?......I'm not sure. I have such great admiration for Gracie's ability to trust and open her heart completely again. Love although amazing, is such a risk.

This past year I have been healing a broken heart myself.......our ending was mutual....but only because of something that couldn't be solved while staying together........ so we fell apart. I know I'm through the worst of it, but it is still hard to not look back. I have moments where I just feel stuck. A friend of mine told me that it is okay to feel stuck and that one day when I'm ready I will just take a step because it feels right, and something inside of me will change. I know I've taken lots of little steps, and even some incredible crane like swoops. I think there is a secret beauty that sits in heartbreak and only those of us who have sat deeply in the pain get to know that beauty.

I can only imagine how tough it would have been for Gracie to take that blind step, to let herself move out of the heartbreak and trust enough to fall completely in love. She's incredible and I was so honored to make her Love Story Necklace. She looked beautiful in it.......




Then there was Amanda - who fell in love with Matt and he was right by her side when she faced the fear of finding a lump in her breast. Life is incredible - the highs are heady and delicious....the lows are crushing and cold. I've had some complicated health issues myself for the past few months.....our careers, our travels, our fun, our connections are all very important to a balanced life....but having someone there who will stick by your side when you're scared and at your lowest is magic. I was moved by Amanda and Matt's strength as a couple and I was thrilled to have The Love Story Necklace be a part of their amazing day. Amanda looked perfect in it........






Gracie's photos www.selectphotography.com
Amanda's photos www.johndudak.com

The Sketchbook Project - What I've learned

Many Months ago I wrote a post on the Sketchbook Project. I was very excited when I found out about the project. I chose my theme of "Facing Forward" and my enthusiasm spread to many of my friends in my creative community. We all jumped on board and started sketching......well sort of....You see the deadline to send in the sketchbook is approaching. It needs to be postmarked by Jan 15th. I'm going to be very honest with you here....I finished 2 pages in 2010 and there is a whole lot of pages.

It was a struggle for me. I'm a perfectionist. The jewelry that I make has to be just right before I send it out my studio door. I doodle, I sketch, I make a thousand mistakes but no one sees those. As an extra kick in the pants I was asked to blog about my sketchbook process on the Doodleheads blog. I did one post about my fear of just letting go and starting the sketchbook. Then I let go...........or so I thought. I sketched two pages and then the little book stared at me for months and months. I continued to sketch in other books, but not my sketchbook project book.

2011 hit, I had 15 days to finish about.........60 pages. I called my good friend Simone Richmond and told her I didn't know if I could do it. She gave me a pep talk, told me I could do it and that I could also glue some of the pages together so there would be fewer pages.....both brilliant pieces of advice.

So, Jan 3rd I sat down in front of my sketchbook and I didn't stop until It was finished. I sketched, I glued, I used my fun new Japanese masking tape, I got creative and let go. The results.......well........It is not perfect, far far from it. Some pages I like, others I cringe at, but I reached my goal and I'm mailing it back to them this week.

By the end of the book I had learned something really valuable. In my sketchbook quest of "facing forward" and trying to answer the question "Can you face forward while being self reflective at the same time?" I realized something big. On the very last page of the book I wrote this:

Be Today.
Call someone and tell them you love them today.
Get out of self reflection,
Move beyond facing forward
and
Be content;
where you are,

who you are,
because you are.
xoxo pkk

What the Avro Arrow Has To Do With Love and Jewelry Design

Recently a friend of mine poked a little fun at me for not knowing what the Avro Arrow was........Yup I had no idea. I'm also sort of guessing that there are many people like me who don't know. Well.....for those who are interested it's an aircraft designed by the Canadian company Avro and it was pretty fancy. It was designed and prototypes were built, in the 1950's and aircraft enthusiast's were pretty darn excited about it. Unfortunately for them our very conservative government at the time pulled the plug on the whole operation. For financial, and political reasons they ended up cancelling the whole project, many jobs were lost, and many aircraft fans hearts were broken.

Knowing nothing about an aircraft is not surprising to me. I would never pretend that I was well read on the subject. Or well read on many other subjects...there are lots of things that don't hold my interest and I don't know about and that is okay. But I do know a thing or two about design and I like to think I know a little teensy bit about love.

I was reading an article in the New York Times written by Tara Parker-Pope on "Sustainable Love" The article suggests that we are looking for partners who make us more interesting people. They talk about the " “Michelangelo effect,” referring to the manner in which close partners “sculpt” each other in ways that help each of them attain valued goals." We want relationships where we teach each other new things, share new ideas, expose each other to new thoughts, friends, and adventures. "People have a fundamental motivation to improve the self and add to who they are as a person,” Dr. Lewandowski says. “If your partner is helping you become a better person, you become happier and more satisfied in the relationship.”

Which brings me back to the Avro Arrow. I will never know a lot about aviation, or war aircrafts, but I can look at the Arrow and see beautiful lines in in. I see shapes that move, I see metal that flows, I see something different. I take what I know and I make the arrow work in my world.



New Earring design inspired by the shapes of the windows.


New necklace design inspired by the shape of the tail.



So, although I will likely never be able to teach someone on the history of the Avro CF-105 Arrow, I will be able to teach someone how to spend a day playing. How to put away the "I shoulds" and dip your toes into your creativity. How to push your imagination, how to find that piece of your soul that makes you swirl, and how to feel incredibly alive.



image credits
1 www.airliners.net
2 www.flickriver.com

Okay, for a much more accurate history of the Avro CF-105 Arrow you can check out wikipedia here or just google it and zillion sites will come up.

To read the very interesting article on Sustainable Love "The Happy Marriage is the Me Marriage" from the New York Times click Here.

Keeping Jewelry Secrets......

Something that I never realized when scheming to become a jeweller is that I would get to be involved in so many secrets and surprises. I LOVE it - I feel honored to do it......... but it is a little hard for me.........I'm just not that good at hiding things.....I bought tickets to go and see Mumford and Sons for my good friend Sheila's birthday and I almost told her twice before her birthday. She actually had to stop me from telling her once. I just get sooo excited that I can't wait and I spill over with delight and ruin the surprise.

I obviously have to keep it together for the sake of my business integrity when it comes to jewelry surprises.......and so far so good.

In the past few weeks I have been in on some amazing, sweet, loving surprises. I just can't tell you about any of them just yet.....hehehe.....sorry. You know I want to.

Until I can tell you I thought that I would show you some of my new pieces that I still have for sale....there is still time to pass this blog post onto someone who loves you and hope that you too will be one of the lucky recipients of a PKK design surprise this holiday season.


If you've read my blog before you will have figured out that I like to talk about love......This year has been a very tough one for my heart.....It has broken.....it has opened up......it has looked at the truth......it has taken back some of the pieces that got lost in the chaos. These two Love Heart Necklaces are made from sterling silver, that has been blackened and scratched up with a really gritty texture. "The Cracks In Your Heart Let The Sun Shine Through" The small one hangs on a 16" inch chain and is $50. The big one hangs on a 24" inch chain and is $75.




And of course.....the Love Heart Necklace with a little colour and pattern. This one has a rich dark purple enamel. It hangs on a 30"inch chain and is $98.

Please email me if you are interested and we will work out the details.
info@pkkdesign.com

Enjoy,
Patsy.

What Love is.......

Some musings about Love.....

I'm often moved by words. Recently while reading one of Danielle Laportes inspiring posts I was struck by this one sentence:
"But at this point, I'm tender and tough enough to know what love is and isn't".

I would like to think that I always know what love is and what love isn't. I think deep down I do know, I should know by now............shouldn't I?

I'm in my early 30's...and I like being here. Pain hurts a bit more, but only because I now have the ability to let it hurt, to feel it, to dive the fuck into it and come out stronger. Joy feels incredible, but only because I know how devastating life can feel without joy, and I make sure to do things that make me smile, laugh, and soar.
I have figured out some big things.....I've done some hard work, I've looked at some of my pretty dark and twisted places, I've accepted things about me that may always be flaws, I've accepted things about me that are amazing, incredible, strength. So, why don't I always know what love is and isn't? Why do I sometimes still allow things into my life that bring me down? Why do I still doubt myself sometimes and not trust the voice that is telling me what love is and what it isn't?

I want to always know what love is. I want love to be truth. I want love to be honesty. I want love to move me, to challenge me, to lift me higher. I want my art to be filled with love and my love to be filled with art.


Here are a few things that I love.....and things that bring me love:

• Brooke Castillo's Blog - Personal Coach - her blog posts always seem to come at the exactly right moment in my life.
  
• Yoga in Daily Life - My yoga center - This is pure LOVE.
• Kate England - Artist who designs beautiful and functional icons - I love hearing about her design process and I fantasize about being as organized as she must be one day.
  
• Peregrine Honig - Artist who I fell in love with through watching Bravo's Work of Art - there is something about her work that makes me a little breathless.
  
• Kathleen Edwards - Canadian Alt Country signer - LOVE her, her voice moves me.
  

The What We've Created Brooch

About a month ago my Dad asked me if I could make a piece of jewelry for him to give to my Mom for their 40th wedding anniversary. My Dad is usually the pots and pans type of gift giver so I was shocked, touched, and delighted to take on such an amazing project. I spent a lot of time thinking about what to make, what was special enough for this moment, what spending 40 years with someone meant........

This is what I ended up making,

"The What We've Created Brooch"

What we've created in 40 years is a home that echoes with laughter long after the Christmas decorations are packed away and the Bar-b-q's are done for the Summer.

What we've created is two strong, compassionate daughters who have never doubted for a moment that they have incredible love and strength to catch them when they stumble and push them gently when they need support.

What we've created is a house filled with love and new giggles of a very special grandchild and another on the way.

What we've created is a love that is true and committed and a friendship that has grown stronger and stronger throughout 40 years.

Their anniversary was yesterday, August 1st. My Mom was overjoyed with the gift, and in shock that it had been my Dad's idea. My Mom gave my Dad a card....My Dad is now gloating that he is "one up" on my Mom in the gift giving department, hehehe. I sure hope to be able to still be laughing with someone after sharing 40 years with them.

The brooch is made from sterling silver that I have hammered, twisted and blackened. It is, of course embellished with pearls and a bright red enameled disk. The wall piece is made from copper, which I have enameled and made a special little place for the brooch to clip in when it is not being worn.

The Love Story Necklace Contest Winning Stories Part 2

Today I want to share the second winning story from the Love Story Necklace Contest. I ended up choosing two winning stories for very different reasons. They each in their own way really embodied what the Love Story Necklace is all about.

Amanda's Love Story -
Matt and I weren't supposed to meet, fall in love, or get married. We are 95.7% opposites. We met through MySpace for crying out loud! I met Matt my junior year in college. I wasn't looking for a relationship and he was so I blew him off at first. Then when he wrote to me again asking to get ice cream, I caved and after meeting him, I was done.

We moved in together right after i graduated college and were happy for awhile, then it started to get hard. We were living in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment with no privacy, nowhere to be alone and it was just too much of each other and it really brought out our differences. So I moved out and back home with my parents, thinking that was it, it was over.

We still talked and neither of us were dating other people. We decided to start going out on dates again and doing things together that we both liked instead of being apart. Things got better so I moved back before Christmas. We then started looking for a home together and found one.

The following January we were laying in bed reading and I had a pain in my chest. I felt around and found a lump the size of a large walnut. I instantly knew something was very wrong and started crying, breast cancer runs in my family and I was only 25. My cousin died at age 26 from cancer, this couldn't be happening to me. Matt held me and told me that no matter what he loved me and would always be there for me. I said even if I lose all my hair? He said he'd shave his head too. At that point I knew I had found the man that would stand beside me no matter what. After tons of appointments and biopsy's the tests thought it was benign but they had to take it out to be sure because of it's size and shape. I had surgery and Matt was there to nurse me back to health, change my bandages and just be there for me. The tests came back 100% benign and we finally breathed easy again.

That August we went hiking to our favorite waterfall, hidden from the general public, we had found it on our third date. We hiked down with our tripod and camera to take some photos. After many shots Matt told me to stand still so he could get one of us together, there in front of the most beautiful spot he asked me to be his wife, through sickness and health, whatever lies ahead. We are now planning our dream fall wedding for October 16, 2010. This Love Story necklace is perfect for me to wear because it symbolizes the twists and turns that we've had in our relationship, but no matter what it's one piece that will stay together forever, like us.
What I loved about Amanda's story was that the two of them have been through so much as a couple. Relationships, although amazing are hard and I think it takes great compassion and great strength for a couple to fall apart and then come back together. A little over a month ago one of my closest friends was diagnosed with a brain tumor, thankfully it also turned out to be benign. Life is scary and short, and it is the people and the love that we choose to have in our life that make it incredible and a little less scary. I would say that Amanda and Matt are a pretty inspiring and courageous couple. I am honoured to be making Amanda a Love Story Necklace to wear on her wedding day.

I wanted to share with you another inspiring and courageous woman and artist, Kerri Smith - I am loving her blog these days www.kerrismith.com

Also for all of my brides-to-be I thought you might like this very pretty blog for a little wedding inspiration www.weddingchicks.com

Inspiring Artist - Iviva Olenick

I have been writing, creating, reading, dreaming, and breathing about love these days.
My jewelry designs for the past year have all been inspired by some sort of love.
falling in or out of love,
embracing love,
pushing love away,
trying on love,
trying to offer others my most loving self,
remembering to love myself.
The results in my jewelry designs have been big, bold, with twists and curves, lots of intricate details, sudden ups and downs, asymmetry, with a loudness and a subtlety at the same time.
I have been pleased that each one is a story on its own and that each story has so many possibilities.
I decided that I would search on Etsy to see what other artists are doing with the inspiration of love. So I searched love, and love stories, and love letters. You can imagine all of the cliched pieces that I found, lots of hearts, swarovski crystals, and bluebirds. Not my thing.
Then I stumbled upon work by Brooklyn based artist Iviva Olenick and completely fell in love with what she is doing.

Iviva creates narrative embroidery. Each piece she creates is rich with honest passion and has a delicate blend of heartache and hope. She has a blog www.wereisobesotted.blogspot.com where she too talks about love and how it influences her art. If you feel any connection to her work from these pictures that I've posted, be careful on her blog. I got lost for hours reading and connecting with her artfully sewn life.

Here to Stay 2009
"You camped out in my head for months. You'd start to leave and something would tug you in" "It looks like I'm here to stay" "Even now I find myself talking to you on good days and bad days as if you're standing beside me"

What's Missing 2010
"He wants me to fill what's missing in him. I can't. I can't believe I fell for him either."

Mine Again 2009
"He didn't like sweatpants, or my green fleece bathrobe. I got rid of the sweatpants and kept the bathrobe. He liked to make fun of a pair of high-waisted, "grandma" underwear. When he left, I embroidered curlicues on my underwear, and strode around the apartment in it. I had to learn to make everything that had been ours mine again."

(All work credited to the very talented Iviva Olenick)

Filling Me Up

I have spent the last 5 days reading your love stories......how divine.
It is filling me up, inspiring me, and and touching me in ways that I couldn't have ever imagined.

From reading all of these beautiful love stories I have learned that there are so many of us who choose to give love even though we have endured heartbreaking sadness.
There is still time to tell me your love story, contest closing date is May 7th.

"Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering". Nicole Krauss - The History of Love.
For details on the Love Story Necklace Contest please read the post below.

The Love Story Necklace Contest

I am so excited to be announcing.....
The Love Story Necklace Contest

The Love Story Necklace, just like any great love story is complicated. It has twists and turns, highs and lows, and has been hammered and polished.
It is the perfect necklace for a bride who has been through a lot but who has always believed in finding her true love.

The idea for the Love Story Necklace came to me when I realized that my favorite love stories are often complex and drawn out. I spent a weekend doing research. I watched all of my favorite romantic movies, the ones that have shaped my ideals of love, and I became inspired to create unique pieces of art that honored the curving, unique path that relationships can take us on.

The pieces that resulted were intricate, bold and highly original. Constructed from sterling silver, colourful enamel, and freshwater pearls, each Love Story Necklace, just like the story it was inspired by is truly one of a kind.

If you think that a Love Story Necklace is perfect for you, and you want to wear one on your wedding day, here’s your chance – all you have to do is tell me your love story in a maximum of 800 words.

My creative team and I will read the submissions and choose the one we feel most inspired by, and I will create a Love Story necklace based on it. The winning love story will receive a custom-made Love Story Necklace valued at $450, and the story will be posted on my blog. Good luck!

Contest details:

To enter please tell me:
1. Your love story in up to 800 words
2. Your wedding date
3. Please include a photo of you and your fiance

Submissions will be accepted until May 7th 2010.
Winner will be notified by May 21st 2010

Please send submissions to info@pkkdesign.com



Jewelry - Patsy Kay Kolesar Design
Photography - Abbye Dahl
Model - Jen Ryley JK Models
Hair Stylist - Natalia Pectu
Make-up Artist - Meagan Davidson

The Things That Really Matter

I hope that everyone is having a lovely Easter weekend, shared with people that you love.

I am very thoughtful this weekend about the things that really matter. My family and my friends and the deep connections which I share with them are what fuels everything in my life. They are ultimately my inspiration for every piece I create. I create out of love and passion. I have the ability to feel love and passion because of the amazing people who surround me. I feel so honored to be sharing a life time with such beautiful people.

My Carrot & Beet Brooches were inspired by the summers I spent in the garden with my Dad when I was growing up. He would always grow these big amazing vegetable gardens. I loved to help him pick the carrots and pull up the potatoes. Being with him in our backyard garden on a hot summers day is one of my most cherished childhood memories.


Carrot & Beet Brooches
sterling silver, 14k gold, freshwater pearls
Patsy Kay Kolesar 2008

Love

This year,
I want love to be bold.
I want love to be strong.
I want love to be honest.
I want love to be passionate.
I want love to be gentle.
I want love to be safe.

I want to be my most loving self.

On this Valentine's Day I have given myself a little love.
I went to an amazing yoga class, with a long meditation where I was visualizing myself under a cherry tree in the mountains.

I visited my favourite art supply store and bought a giant new sketchbook, which later today I will fill with ideas about love...



RIP Lee Alexander McQueen 1969-2010
photos from www.style.com